|
| |
| THE RUMBLE IN THE DAIRY AISLE |
|
|
The Wensleydale had been for a long time plotting a siege against the Camembert. The rogue English cheese had not been ignorant of the Frenchman’s insults of late; to the Wensleydale, there was no other way than to show how Britannia could fight.
With spirited missives and rousing speeches the Wensleydale gathered allies among the dairy products. Swiss cheese, usually unwilling to choose sides, joined the cause, as did other English cheeses such as Oxford Blue and Stinking Bishop, eager to visit their revenge upon the French. The Wensleydale knew that the French cheeses far outnumbered his small militia but also knew that he had passion on his side.
The time came. The fluorescent lights shut off in the dairy aisle at the Shop-N-Eat and the Wensleydale surveyed his troops. Forth they came! The battalion rolled out – literally, as most of the cheeses were packaged in wheels. And with a valorous cry set upon the Gourmet Cheese section. Camembert, Roquefort, Brie, and Bleu all scrambled to arm themselves as the Wensleydale’s troops charged. First the pure English cheeses, then the Swiss and Edam, followed at the rear by the individually-wrapped American cheese slices and a flag bearing their motto, “Practically Plastic!.”
The rumble in the dairy aisle reached epic proportions. Cheese rolled over the floor and spilled from the shelves. Displays toppled, signs cracked; even the butter-and-milk section felt the tremors of the fight. Long into the night the rumble went; France seemingly with an upper hand, then England and her allies gaining ground. It was impossible to see who would win, and who would suffer defeat.
Suddenly the action ceased. An ominous sound made all the cheeses turn – the industrial-sized tub of Mozzarella, the sleeping giant, the Italian fighter, who had as yet refused to take a side, was entering the fray. The Mozzarella tub came forth, pistols drawn, and when he took the side of the French, the Wensleydale knew he didn’t stand a chance.
The next morning all that remained of the valiant English effort was a voice over the intercom saying: “Cleanup in aisle four.”
|
|
|
|
|
